Confic Art
by OrionGS
Item #: SCP-6978-J
Object Class: Facepalm
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-6978-J is to be kept happy at all times so that it doesn't destroy the entire planet. The articles speaking of SCP-6978-J must have the word 'approximately' be used approximately 5 (five) times so that SCP-6978-J can be like all of its friends. Approximately 2 cameras are to be kept in SCP-6978-J's cell and the brand must be Go-Pro™ because SCP-6978-J doesn't like the cheap stuff.
Description: SCP-6978-J is a completely over-powered beast just like all the other SCPs. It is super-strong, can turn invisible, can fly, can hypnotize people, can breathe fire, can breathe underwater, can breathe fire underwater, can swallow people whole, can regenerate faster than the cool kid's ego, can speak approximately 400+ languages, grow and shrink, change form, make copies of itself, etc. etc. etc.
SCP-6978-J's only weakness is bee stings. Seriously, it swells up like a balloon. After being stung by a bee, SCP-6978 will run at approximately 400.1851996173741763625 mph to the nearest epi pen. SCP-6978-J appears to be ticked off whenever people ask it about its origin, probably because that's what all the other SCPs do, but SCP-6978-J is not like the other kids; it has to watch out for bees, so no recess or playgrounds either.
SCP-6978-J main ability seems to be that it turns into the most generic SCP that anyone within approximately 5 meters can come up with.
Discovery: SCP-6978-J was discovered in an old, broken down house because thats where all the other SCPs were found. They were all probably shoved into 1 house and an SCP guy just walked in like, "Woah! Why is there a mannequin with another mannequin with a small ragdoll and this CRAZY FREAKIN AWESOME GENERIC SCP!!!!". SCP-6978-J.
ADDENDUM-6978-J-1: 096 CROSS TEST
SCP-6978-J: Mann…. I wanna do a cross test!
Dr. McFunkystein: Why do you say that?
SCP-6978-J: Cuz all the cool SCPs get to do it!
Dr. McFunkystein: Ok, follow me to SCP-096's chamber.
SCP-6978-J: Yay!
Dr. McFunkystein and SCP-6978-J enter 096's chamber and begin the test.
As SCP-6978 enters the chamber, it turns tall and skinny as it starts to whimper.
SCP-6978-J: *sniff*¹Footnotes 1. SCP-6978-J wanted a footnote.
This article is released as CC BY-SA 3.0 with permission from the author.
[Patronizing comment about tone, insinuation that the author doesn't know how to write, recommending they submit themselves to the forum critique carousel]
[[rating]]
masterpiece.